The 100 of '12
Here we go!
2012 has a lot going for it. For you lazy asses, here's the TL;DR version:
- The end of Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy
- The beginning of Peter Jackson's The Hobbit
- Daniel Craig's 3rd Bond movie
- The Avengers
- New Quentin Tarantino movie
- New American Pie movie
- New Pixar movie
- The return of Men In Black
- A new beginning for Spider Man
- New Sascha Baron Coehen (Borat) movie
- New Wes Anderson movie
- 2 Snow White movies
- The end of Twilight
- A new Bourne (with no Matt Damon)
- Remakes of Judge Dredd and Total Recall
- Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker) movie about Navy SEALs taking down Bin Laden
- Brad Pitt in a zombie war movie called World War Z
- The beginning of The Hunger Games
- The year of Taylor Kitch (John Carter, Battleship & Oliver Stone's Savages)
- The year of Joseph Gordon-Levitt (The Dark Knight Rises, Looper, Django Unchained, Premium Rush)
- The year of Jeremy Renner (Bourne Legacy, The Avengers, Hansel & Gretel)
- Sequels: Taken 2 (seriously!), Wrath of the Titans, Ghost Rider, Madagascar 3, GI Joe, The Expendables, Paranormal Activity 4, Resident Evil & Underworld.
- Apatow comedies: Wanderlust, The Five Year Engagement, This is Forty
- 3-D...really? Beauty and the Beast, Titanic, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Frankenweenie, 47 Ronin, Les Miserables (seriously), Life of Pi, Great Gatsby (also, seriously)
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Part 1 (Jan-Mar)
Coriolanus
January 20th (Limited)
I had this movie on the 2011 list until it dropped to 2012, but even though it's allegedly opening next week, I can't find it anywhere. I'm guessing it's going to release sometime this year. Anyway, Ralph Fiennes directorial debut starring him and Gerard Butler, a Shakespeare story told in modern military times.
Red Tails
January 20th
George Lucas/Lucasarts movie that Lucas has been trying to make since 1988. Anthony Hemingway (The Wire, CSI:NY) directing, with Cuba Gooding Jr., & Terrence Howard.
Underworld Awakening
January 20th
Kate Beckinsale is hot but jeez these movies needs to stop.
The Grey
January 27th
Directed by Joe Carnahan (Smokin' Aces, The A-Team), Liam Neeson is one of the survivors of a plane crash in Alaska and has to survive.
Man on a Ledge
January 27th
Sam Worthington is a man...on a ledge. Looks bad.
Chronicle
February 3rd
A "found footage" format movie about 3 high school friends who gain superpowers (flight, telekinesis and invulnerability). Could surprise.
The Woman in Black
February 3rd
Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) in a haunted house flick.
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
February 10th
$110 million to the director of...Cats & Dogs 2. The Rock, Michael Caine, Vanessa Hudgens...Luis Guzman? FAIL.
Safe House
February 10th
Ryan Reynolds is a CIA guy guarding a criminal (Denzel Washington) in a safe house. Safe house gets destroyed, they have to go find a new location.
The Vow
February 10th
Rachel McAdams, Channing Tatum, only on here because it'll probably make huge money as a Valentine's Day sappy (girl loses her memory, he makes her fall in love with her again oh lordy) chick flick.
Ghost Rider - Spirit of Vengeance
February 17th
Writers/Directors/Producers of Crank take on the Ghost Rider sequel, naturally with Nicolas Cage, but...is that The Highlander Christopher Lambert?
This Means War
February 17th
Directed by McG (Charlies Angels 1&2, Terminator 4), Reese Witherspoon is the girl that 2 spies, Chris Pine (Captain Kirk) and Tom Hardy (Bane) fight over.
Act of Valor
February 24th
NAVY SEALS! Movie shot with actual SEALs using actual SEAL tactics doing actual SEAL things. Could miss but I'll see it.
Wanderlust
February 24th
Jennifer Anniston & Paul Rudd in an Apatow produced comedy.
The Lorax
March 2nd
Director of Despicable Me, voices of Danny Devito, Taylor Swift, Zac Efron, Ed Helms...Betty White. /eyeroll
Hansel and Gretel - Witch Hunters
March 2nd
Will Farrell produced, starring Jeremy Renner, with Famke Janssen as the bad gal. I thought this was an animated flick, but it's got a $60 million budget and an unknown Norweiagn director. Uh oh...this has fail written all over it, especially with it's competition.
- NOTE: Pushed back to January 2013
Project X
March 2nd
Todd Phillips (The Hangover, American Pie) produced about a house party.
John Carter
March 9th
Written & Directed by Andrew Stanton (Finding Nemo, WALL-E), directing his first live action movie. Taylor Kitch stars, also with Thomas Haden Church, Mark Strong and Willem Dafaoe, based off the first of an 11 volume Edgar Rice Burroughs (Tarzan) book series about Mars.
21 Jump Street
March 16th
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (which is an excellent, funny, underrated movie), co-written by Jonah Hill who stars alongside Channing Tatum. Looks like Johnny Depp makes an appearance.
Casa De Mi Padre
March 16th
Being touted as "the funniest movie you'll ever read", it's a fully subtitled, Spanish language Will Farrell comedy. Yes, everyone is speaking Spanish. Farrell included. Uh oh...
Mirror Mirror
March 16th
Julia Roberts, Sean Bean, fantasy comedy based on Snow White...looks bad. Never did I think that the horrifying acting and awful bland facial expressions of Twilight's Kristen Stewart would look like a better movie than Julia Roberts. This one reeks of one studio releasing a Snow White retelling a couple months before the good version (think Deep Impact vs. Armageddon, Skyline vs. Battle LA, Dante's Peak vs. Volcano, etc.) Meaning this one will probably stink.
The Hunger Games
March 23rd
The first of a book trilogy (although in true hollywood fashion they're breaking the final book into 2 movies), starring Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Woody Harrelson. Looks good, I'm reading these books.
Goon
March 30th
Hockey movie written by Jay Baruchel starring our Minnesota boy Sean William Scott, about a guy who becomes a hockey enforcer. Go watch the trailer, it looks awesome and I'm so seeing this even though it'll probably be bad.
Wrath of the Titans
March 30th
Battle LA director starring Sam Worthington with Ralph Fiennes and Liam Neeson. Trailer is decent, but I have a feeling it'll be just like that last one: expensive, loud, chaotic and should make a ton of money but be average.
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