Boondock's Movies of 2010

**Eric** · 01-20-2010, 12:20 PM

Okay, here we go!

I'll be revisiting this thread hopefully every couple months to identify new release dates and new movies that have been announced.

It'll be broken up into three sections:

The Biggest of 2010 (parts 1 & 2)
The FAIL's of 2010
The Surprises of 2010

Without further ado, here is my list! (Info blatantly stolen from Comingsoon.net, Firstshowing.net and Wikipedia)

The Biggest of 2010 - (Part 1)

February 12
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Chris Columbus (Gremlins, The Goonies, Night At The Museum 1-2, Harry Potter 1-3, Fantastic Four 1-2, etc.) directing, big cast (Uma Thurman, Pierce Brosnan, Sean Bean [A CATAPULT!], Rosario Dawson, etc), sequel already coming, based off 5 books surrounding Greek mythology.

February 26
Cop Out

Kevin Smith’s new movie, starring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan looks hilarious. Our local Minnesota boy Sean William Scott is in it, and it’s Kevin Smith so there will be plenty of cameos. Doesn’t look like it’s set in the Askewniverse or whatever, it actually looks more like it’s own world. I think I remember Smith saying somewhere that Clerks 2 was the last film set in that old universe, but I’m not sure...Joe?
Anyway, should be excellent, trailers look very amusing.

March 5
Alice in Wonderland

Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway, Crispin Glover, and directed by Tim Burton, this movie is going to be huge. Trailers look fantastic too.

March 26
Clash of the Titans

A remake of the classic starting Sam Worthington (Terminator Salvation, Avatar) as Perseus, Ralph Fiennes as Hades, Liam Neeson as Zeus, a $180 million budget, and directed by the guy who made The Incredible Hulk and The Transporter movies.
Should be huge, but honestly it looks like a CGI festival…has a lot to live up to. I remember watching the original as a kid. That silly ass mechanical owl…hope he makes an appearance!

April 9
Date Night

Wow. Steve Carrell and Tina Fey are a couple out for a date night and some wacky hijinks ensue. Awesome cast, including Mark Wahlberg, James Franco, Mila Kunis, Mark Ruffalo, Ray Liotta, Common, etc.
Will be huge, Steve Carrell’s movies generally do well, and add Tina Fey, Marky Mark, James Franco, etc. in the mix and this movie will bank.

April 16
Kick-Ass

I really want to put this one the “surprises” list to be safe, but I’ll take a risk here. A comic book movie about a kid with no real special powers who goes out and kicks ass (oh, a pun!) becomes an internet sensation, eventually crosses paths with a couple other masked vigilantes and apparently adventure ensues. McLovin is in this as well, along with good old Nicholas Cage. I think this movie might find a way to get past the Nic Cage curse, but you never know.
The director’s previous two movies (Layer Cake, Stardust) weren’t bad, had a little style and the trailer looks great. Plus it’s definitely rated R, with "massive profanity and violence". It could FAIL but I’m thinking this is going to be big.

May 7
Iron Man 2

The first Iron Man ranks up there with the best comic book movies ever made. Right behind "The Dark Knight" and right before "Catwoman". Ha! This movie looks fantastic, Favreau is becoming quite the Hollywood powerhouse (and an excellent director), Downy Jr. continues to impress as Tony Stark, and now that I’m not so ignorant about it (thanks Trany!) I’m eager to see War Machine fight next to Iron Man. Plus the fact that all these Marvel movies are starting to tie into each other with the whole Nick Fury business, what is that, the Avenger Initiative? “Samuel L. Jackson is also signed onto to reprise the role in nine more Marvel movies, including Iron Man 2, Thor, The First Avenger: Captain America, and The Avengers” very cool stuff…
Not sure about adding Don Cheadle, but I wasn’t sure that Terrence Howard was any good in the first movie. Apparently I wasn’t the only one. We’ll see…Cheadle rarely disappoints. Add Mickey Rourke, Scarlett Johanssen, and Sam Rockwell as adversaries and of course, Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts and this flick should be gigantic. Especially if it’s actually a GOOD comic book movie like the first one was…which I totally expect it will be.

May 14
Robin Hood

Looks epic. Ridley Scott (Alien, Blade Runner, Gladiator, Black Hawk Down), Russell Crowe (who looks a little too much like Maximus , but should still be excellent), Cate Blanchett, and academy award winning (LA Confidential) writer Brian Helgeland in an adult retelling of the Robin Hood story.
All the pieces are in place for a huge win, and if it’s anything like Gladiator turned out to be, this could be one of the biggest films of the year.

May 21
Shrek Forever After

You all know I have kids now and that my movie watching has taken a turn into the more animated variety. I’m pleased that my 2.5 year old just loves Shrek 1 & 2 and has the good taste to rarely ask to watch Shrek 3. However, Shrek 4 (4ever After, oh I get it) looks like it might get back to the first 2 good Shrek movies.
Good story: (Shrek gets tricked into signing a curse from Rumpelstiltskin where he goes to an alternate universe where he never existed, no one knows him, Rumpelstiltskin is king, etc.
Tons of people, including the entire original cast, but add people like Megan Fox, John Krasinski (Jim Halpert from The Office) and more, and it has the makings of a blockbuster. It better be, because the budget was around $300 MILLION. Considering that the first ones made 400, 900 and 800 million dollars, and that this is being advertised as the LAST CHAPTER in the Shrek series, this is going to be huge.

May 28
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

$200 million, Disney, Jake Gyllenhal and a ridiculously huge franchise. Video game movies are very much hit or miss, but this one looks like it has the fan base, marketing and star power to succeed, and it really needs to be a hit or it won’t make it’s $200 million back. I think it will.
Trailers aren’t blowing me away, but they’ll release a newer & better trailer in a couple months and the buzz will start. Without sounding too Brokeback (hahah, see what I did there?), Gyllenhal looks ripped, and should be fine as the Prince.
Depending on what they do, there could be some really interesting things done with the sands of time and the battle sequences. Because it’s Disney I think it’s getting a PG-13, which is a shame because there were some pretty bad ass attacks done in the video games that obviously won’t translate…or if they do it’ll be bloodless battles…(Pirates of the Caribbean-ish).

Sex and the City 2

As much as it pains me to do it, I can’t deny that this flick will be one of the biggest of 2010. This is part of the reason I renamed this to “Biggest of 2010” instead of “Best of 2010”. I understand, if your first movie makes 300 million dollars, you must make sequel(s), but god do I hate these movies. And it all boils down to Sarah Jessica Parker. She’s hideous. I was Google image searching “Sarah Jessica Parker” to find a good pic of her fugly ass and Google auto completed with: “Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse” so I’m not the only one.

Will be huge, but the only reason it might not be as huge (other than sucking) is that some of the ladies who are out for a date might want to see a ripped up brokeback guy (see above) instead of more and more of the same from four whiny bitches that no one cares about anymore.

June 18
Toy Story 3

Nice, the new Pixar movie is Toy Story 3! I’m such a dork when it comes to these movies because Pixar reminds me of Blizzard; they generally don’t mass release products, and everything they release has the polish and shine of something that someone takes pride in. They take the time, put the effort into only putting out good things, and that’s why almost every one of their movies is a 5 star movie and makes a ton of money.
Toy Story is one of those rare film series’ where the sequel was as good, if not better than the original. “Toy Story 2 received universal critical acclaim and earned a 100% approval rating at Rotten Tomatoes (one of the only animated films to do so)”. So I have no doubt that Toy Story 3 will be successful. All the voice talent is back, (other than Jim Varney who is dead) and it looks like there are some new ones (Michael Keaton, Whoopi Goldberg, etc).

June 25
Grown Ups

Last year I got burned by putting an Adam Sandler flick on the “Best of” list (“Funny People”) but this year I have to put “Grown Ups” on here. The cast is ridiculous: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, David Spade, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider, Salma Hayek, Salma Hayek’s boobs (yes, they deserve special mention) and a ton of other bit roles by the SNL people from back in our day (Tim Meadows, Norm MacDonald, hell even Steve Buscemi is listed).
Anyway, sounds like the 5 stars used to play on a basketball team together, then grew up and went their separate ways and have come back for the funeral of their old coach. Naturally, spending the weekend together with old friends results in comic mischief, so it should be funny. It looks like it’s going for a mix of kid humor and parent humor, and with this cast that’s part of the reason I’m throwing it on the “Biggest of 2010” list. Unless it gets an R rating…but even then I still see it doing very well.

June 25
Knight & Day

Ugh…it’s hard but I have to keep this on the “Biggest of 2010” list simply because it’s Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz, but I have to. Action/comedy where Cruise is the action hero and Diaz is the comic relief. Writing that sentence makes me want to move this to the “Surprises of 2010”, but then I watched the trailer and it definitely looks like it could be a big summer movie.

June 30
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Wow, that was fast. Are they going with the angle of “we must mass release these films before our target audience gets any older”? Not that it’ll matter, this movie will bank huge, especially being a summer release. The third film in the Twilight saga…I think there are certain people who read this forum who could talk about Twilight extensively…almost as if they were more excited than their wives to see the movies…hmmmmm? I kid, I plan on reading the books on my iPhone once I finish the one I’m currently reading.

The Last Airbender

On the same weekend as the Tom Cruise/Cameron Diaz flick above, is M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Last Airbender”, the first of the live action movies in the trilogy. $250 million has been invested in this trilogy, and while the rough trailer doesn’t show much and the effects are so-so, I’m guessing it’ll be a big success.
M Night Shamalama has missed a bit over the last couple years, (The Village, The Happening, etc), but this already has quite the Nickelodeon fan base, and should hit. Notice that this used to be called "Avatar: The Last Airbender"...and now the "Avatar" part is gone. Man, "Avatar" has that much power, it can even rename other movies!

July 7
Predators

Another risky pick here, given that the last Alien vs. Predator movies have possibly done irreversible damage to this once outstanding franchise, but here comes “Predators”, a movie written by Robert Rodriguez that is going back to the rated R roots of a Predator movie. Call me crazy, but I didn’t mind “Predator 2” as much as some did, and I loved “Predator”. The AVP movies can just disappear for all I care at this point, but this movie has me hopeful.
The cast is just as interesting as the director that was chosen. Nimrod Antal hasn’t made many movies, and the cast is a bit on the weak side if you ask me. They went with the realism side, saying that real soldiers aren’t like Arnold, they’re regular looking guys. So we’ve got Adrian Brodie (really?!!), Topher Grace (from That 70’s Show?!?!), Danny Trejo (he’s been busy), Laurence Fishburne and more.
Okay…for a reboot, it’s not a bad idea to go in a different direction, but part of me wants to go safe and put this one on the “surprises of 2010” instead of the “Biggest of 2010” but I’m going to have faith!

July 9
Despicable Me

See? I learned my lesson from last year. Any and pretty much all kids movies go on the “Biggest of” list now because they make obscene amounts of money. Especially those that have star voice talent like: Steve Carrel, Jason Segel, Will Arnett, Danny McBride, Dave Foley, and more.
Honestly, I think this movie looks stupid, but the kids movies over the last 5 years have looked stupid and they’ve made hundreds of millions of dollars, so here ya go.

July 16
Inception

The Dark Knight’s Christopher Nolan wrote, produced and directed this film, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordan-Levitt (I’m a big fan), Juno’s Ellen Page, Ken Watanabe and oh hell, Lukas Haas and his ears!
Anyway, looks like a very interesting movie, trailers are fantastic, and it’s getting released in IMAX so generally that’s only done with the big hits of the year. Nolan and DiCaprio are successful apart, so together I imagine it’ll be gigantic.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

This is difficult to leave on here because it has all signs of a FAIL. Nicholas Cage, a $140 million budget, Nicholas Cage, a movie based off a sequence in the “Fantasia”, and Nicholas Cage. I’ve actually cut/pasted this into the FAIL list 3 times now but I keep putting it back here because it has several things going for it. First, it’s a movie about a regular, dorky kid who becomes a wizard. Hmmm…we’ve heard that before somewhere. Second, it’s got the words “Disney” and “family film” all over it. These generally do pretty well. Third, it’s got Jay Baruchel, who audiences like watching for some reason. Finally, it’s got a summer release date, pretty cool looking special effects, Jerry Bruckheimer producing and Jon Turteltaub (National Treasure, etc) directing. So I have to leave it on the “Biggest of” list, even though my gut is telling me that the Nic Cage curse could sabotage this movie.

July 23
Dinner for Schmucks

Remake of a French comedy, "Le dîner de cons", where apparently some guys have a weekly dinner where it’s a competition to bring the most idiotic guest. Politicians, businessmen, locals, friends, etc and then they spend the dinner making fun of them and then one is identified as the champion.
Apparently, one of these guests ends up making quite a mess of everyone’s life, so bringing that schmuck backfires on the hosts. Sounds like the cast alone will make this a hit: Steve Carrell & Paul Rudd (as the dinner hosts I’m assuming) Zach Galifianakis & Ron Livingston as guests, and Galifianakis is probably the schmuck that screws everything up.
I anticipate that this will be a big hit because of the cast, and even though the trailer isn’t out yet, it sounds like it could be hilarious.

Salt

Angelina Jolie in a very interesting looking movie where she plays a CIA operative who is accused of being a Russian sleeper agent who is going to assassinate the Prez. She goes on the run, is chased and looks like has some adventures. Looks very much like Marky Mark’s “Shooter” from a couple years ago, and is directed by Phillip Noyce who did “Patriot Games”, and “Clear & Present Danger” a while back. Trailer looks excellent, and even though I’m not the biggest Angelina Jolie fan, it’ll bank because everyone else is.

July 30
Beastly

I only put this on here because I think the “Twilight” teenyboppers will go bananas over this movie. It’s a modern remake of “Beauty And The Beast”, where a super popular guy invites Mary-Kate Olsen to a dance and then stands her up (because he’s just a prick like that) and she casts a spell on him that makes him hideous. He finds that the only way to break the spell is to find someone who loves him for who he is, and he eventually is banished by his father to a home in Brooklyn, where he meets a housekeeper and a blind person (Dr. Horrible himself, Neil Patrick-Harris omg) who help him. He eventually finds his beauty, Vanessa Hudgens, and you can probably figure the rest out.
I think it’ll be big because of who’s in it, and this is the type of teen movie that the brooding girls are seeing nowadays. Plus it’s based off a very successful novel (heard that before?), and had a pretty small budget so it won’t take much for this to be a success.

**Eric** · 01-20-2010, 12:21 PM

Biggest of 2010 (Part 2)

August 6
The Other Guys

Sounds like a movie we’ve seen before, but the cast alone is going to make this one huge. Mark Wahlberg is a cop that’s been reassigned to the forensic accounting department with Will Farrell. Wahlberg is there because he got into trouble with his “quick trigger finger” and he’s looking for a way out. Will Farrell is happy there and doesn’t want anything else, however they both idolize the city’s top cops: Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Naturally an opportunity presents itself and these 2 are given the chance to impress, and things blow up in their faces. Looks funny, should be good.
In addition to Wahlberg, Farrell, Samuel Jackson & The Rock, there’s Eva Mendes, Michael Keaton, Craig Robinson (the black dude from The Office), Anne Heche, Steve Coogan, And…um…Derek Jeter and Paris Hilton. Oh well?

August 13
The Expendables

Here you go, Luke. Stallone wrote and directed this ridiculous movie, where Sly and his team of former operators head to South America to assassinate the evil dictator who has been causing problems there for 20 years. Stallone’s team consists of himself, Jason Statham, Jet Li and former NFL player Terry Crews. Why is this movie on the “biggest of 2010” list when it looks and sounds so ridiculous? Well, we’ve also got Bruce Willis playing the guy who hires The Expendables, and apparently Arnold Schwarzenegger is also making a cameo. In fact, this is the first time that Ahnold, Willis and Stallone will be on film together ever. Anyway, we’ve also got a laundry list of other “talent” including Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Mickey Rourke, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, Eric Roberts (playing, surprise!, the bad guy), and a handful of attractive ladies.
Oh yes, and explosions, fist fights, explosions, gun fights, explosions and then explosions. Probably slow motion, heroes running away from the explosions type of explosions.
I’m making fun of this movie, but last year’s “Rambo” profited $60 million (and part 5 comes out next year omg), so people still want to see Stallone. Plus Jason Statham and Jet Li have their fans, the MMA crew will want to see Randy Couture, the WWE crowd will want to see Steve Austin…and everyone will want to see Stallone/Willis/Ahnold together, even if it’s just a bit. Will probably be a horrible movie that makes a ton of cash.

September 24
Legend of the Guardians

Zack Snyder ("300", "Watchmen") is making an animated movie based off the " Guardians of Ga'Hoole" books. I originally read about this and wasn't that impressed (even though Snyder is awesome), but now that a trailer has been released I can safely put this on the Biggest of 2010 list. Looks great!

November 5
Due Date

Let’s see why this one will be successful: the director/producer/writer of “Road Trip”, “Old School”, and “The Hangover”, in a movie about a man (Robert Downy Jr.) who has to drive cross-country to get home to see the birth of his child, and the person he’s driving across the country with is none other than Zach Galifianakis, so I’m sure there will be problems. Jamie Foxx, Michelle Monagan, Juliette Lewis, Alan Arkin and more…so I’m guessing it’ll be a little bit of “Planes, Trains”, a little bit of “Little Miss Sunshine” and a lot of the funny.

November 5
Megamind

Animated movie about Will Farrell who plays the villain MegaMind (or Oobermind, it has changed recently) and accidentally defeats his nemesis (the good-guy), Metro Man (Brad Pitt). So he’s won…but he isn’t happy. So he creates another nemesis (Titan, voiced by Jonah Hill) to fight, but Titan turns out to be evil as well, and now Will Farrell must fight him. So basically Will Farrell is now the good guy fighting against the bad guy that he created. Tina Fey is a reporter who…um…reports stuff?
Tom McGrath directed & co-wrote the Madagascar movies (as well as doing the voice of the penguin leader...hilarious), and Ben Stiller is an executive producer, so that, along with the cast, and the fact that it’s an animated movie, should make it enormous. Will Farrell & Brad Pitt? Come on that’s just not fair…

November 12
Tangled

Disney animated movie, with a mix of traditional hand drawn and CGI. Voice talents of Mandy Moore, Zack Levi (Chuck), David Schwimmer, Gilbert Gottfried, John Goodman, David Cross, Carol Burnett, Jason Alexander and more.
Disney + animated movie + 8 time academy award winner Alan Menken (music) + director of “Bolt”= success

November 19
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I

Have you guys ever heard of these movies? Harry Potter is a prince or a ninja or some shit.
Truth be told, I wasn’t much of a Harry Potter guy until I saw the fifth movie and I felt like I was missing so much. So I started my journey and read all 7 books, and I have to say that it was the most satisfying reading experience of my life. Yes, my life! I’m incredibly excited about these movies because they broke the final book (the best imo) into 2 movies. One this year and 1 next year. I wish they would’ve done it for the 6th book, because they left out one of the biggest parts of the book, a part that I’d been looking forward to watching on film since I finished reading the book:
( Click to show/hide )
the battle of Hogwarts. How could they leave that out
…jesus.
Anyway, this movie will be fantastically successful, everyone will see it, as well as the finale in 2011.

November 24
Red Dawn

Ah Red Dawn. “WOLVERINES!” Another staple of our youth about to be whored out to the industry… But still, I can’t complain too much because it looks like it should be good. Cast includes a bunch of up and comers, including Chris Hemsworth (Thor, Kirk’s dad in the new Star Trek), and many more, including one of Tom Cruise’s (adopted) kids, Connor Cruise. The Comedian from Watchman is in it as well.
Looks like it’s a modern day remake, this time the Chinese are invading which...I suppose is a little bit far fetched, but so was the original. I like the concept and as much as it pains me to see the original gutted and remade, if they do it right this could be really fun to watch.

UPDATE: Release is unknown because of MGM's lack of funding.

December 10
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

From what I’ve heard, many fans of the books cite this one as their favorite, so there’s plenty of excitement already for this one. Apparently this one spends a lot of time on a ship at sea (The Dawn Treader), and follows the youngest 2 Pevensie siblings, Edmund and Lucy as they quest with King Caspian to find the seven lost kings of Narnia.
This is the first Narnia film not released by Disney, this one is being released by 20th Century Fox. I’m a little worried, considering the huge drop off in profits from the first movie ($565 million) and the 2nd movie ($195 million), but it’s hard to balk at almost $200 million in profits. Another problem I have is that it’s following (in my opinion) the least 2 interesting characters from the movies. I absolutely hate the Edmund character, I think he’s a terrible actor, and even the kid they got to play Lucy comes across as dry and boring. Now I admit that I haven’t read the books (other than excerpts for a class once), so I don’t know much about the characters beyond the movies, but it feels like those two are weak characters. Who knows, it has been like 8 years so I’m assuming the actors are growing up a bit and perhaps have learned to act. Should be big.

December 17
Tron Legacy

It’s sad when of the “biggest movies of 2010”, about 80% of them aren’t original, are remakes or reboots or restarts or whatever the term is nowadays for “we can’t come up with our own original ideas, so let’s just take the easy way out to make a ton of $$$”. The other sad part is how good this looks, and how excited I am to actually see it. I loved “Tron”, again, another staple of our youth, and if they do it right, this movie could be great.
This time we follow Jeff Bridge’s kid as he enters the cyber world to attempt to rescue his father. And I'll say, if they use the 3-D like it was done in “Avatar”, this could look really cool.

Little Fockers

It’s sad, but this almost went on the “Surprises of 2010” list. I have to leave it here, because the previous 2 should never have been as big as they were, so with the entire cast returning, adding Jessica Alba, Harvey Keitel, Laura Dern and now the story of Gaylord & his 5 year old twins, it should be funny and I have a feeling that people will go see it.
Ben Stiller, Robert DeNiro, Barbra Streisand, Owen Wilson, Jessica Alba, and more…should be huge. Especially considering that the previous 2 movies made $300 and $400 million, I can’t put it anywhere but here. The risk is that it’s a new director, but it’s Paul Weitz, who co-directed “American Pie” and is helming the whole “Cirque De Freak” movies…

December 22
Gulliver's Travels

Jack Black, Jason Segel, $160 million budget, and a lot of buzz already. Should be big, if it comes out in 2010.

True Grit
December 22

Looks pretty incredible. Bridges could be the best actor of our generation...him & Depp. Matt Damon & Brolin look good too, and the Cohen's are directing, producing and screenwriters.

**Eric** · 01-20-2010, 12:29 PM

FAILS of 2010

January 22
Tooth Fairy

Dear God man… The Rock should be ashamed of himself.

February 12
The Wolfman

I could be wrong here, because this movie has potential. It has a great cast (Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, Hugo Weaving) and an Oscar winning effects team (same that is doing Captain America next year omg) but I just can’t shake the feeling that this movie is going to fail.

???
Season of the Witch

It’s a shame that I have to put this on here, because Ron Perlman is in it and he’s generally pretty decent, as well as director Dominic Sena who did "Swordfish". But ah the Nicolas Cage curse…in a movie about transporting a witch to an abbey where she’ll be cleansed and she brings about all sorts of curses to stop them. Yeah, would be good but Nic Cage is in it so…sorry about the whole FAIL thing.

April 16
Piranha 3-D

Wow, look at this cast. Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd (Great Scott!), Jerry O’Connell and Richard Dreyfuss in a remake of a 70’s FAIL about…yup…Piranhas. In 3-D. Why do they even bother?

April 23
MacGruber

MacGruber. The Movie. Yup. Let’s see if we can recap some of Saturday Night Live’s other amazing skits that became movies shall we? "It’s Pat", "Stuart Saves His Family", "Superstar", "Coneheads", "Blues Brothers 2000", "Waynes World 2"…
Ryan Phillipe, Val Kilmer? Come on guys…what have you done! Although, and it pains me to say this, I laughed several times in the restricted trailer. "WTF is this!?! There's like a million wires here!" & Kristin Wiig's delivery... Unfortunately I think we saw 83% of the funny parts in that trailer alone. Hmmm...being that this is released as a rated R movie I should move it to the surprises of 2010...NO KYRILLIAN IT WILL FAIL!

June 11
The Karate Kid

And the blasphemy begins… The original Karate Kid was a classic movie of our youth. Remakes of this, Footloose, Red Dawn, an A-Team movie, etc, just prove to me that Hollywood is full of opportunistic hacks who could care less about quality & originality and focus more on the almighty dollar.
The funny thing is that the trailer doesn’t look that bad. Will Smith’s kid is starting to blaze his own trail, and actually looks like he puts together not only a decent acting performance, but also did some martial arts training. It takes some training to be able to kick that high! Jackie Chan is the new Mr. Miagi and Smith plays the new Karate Kid.
Black kid, has to move to China, doesn’t know the language, beat up by the local thugs, and Jackie Chan offers to teach him how to fight back. One glaring problem is that it appears to be kung fu and not karate that he’s doing, so “The Kung Fu Kid” may have been a more appropriate title, but that sounds more like a horrendous video game:
Anyway, knowing today’s audiences this movie will make money, but I refuse to keep it anywhere than the FAIL’s of 2010!

July 30
Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore

Somehow, someway the original Cats & Dogs movie made $200 million. Back in 2001. And now, almost 10 years later the sequel is coming out. With a $150 million budget, starring Chris O’Donnell, there is no way that this movie can succeed. There’s no way! The trailer looks horrendous, and…well crap, I bet it’ll make $300 million. Dammit.
So I’m putting this on my FAIL list because I think it should be a failure, even though it has the voices of Alec Baldwin, Michael Clarke-Duncan, Bette Midler. Also, acting alongside Chris O’Failfestival is Jack McBrayer, the hilarious page from “30 Rock”. No, it will fail dammit! $150 million for this crapfest?!!?

August 20
Takers

Ahhhhh…here’s where Chris Brown smashing Rihanna’s smoking hot face into the dashboard of a Lamborghini comes back to haunt him. See, this movie may not have failed as bad as I think it’s going to fail had it not had Chris Brown in it. Matt Dillon, Paul Walker, Hayden Christiansen, hell, even T.I. is in this and some of the brothers might see it just to support him. But any guy who tries to take a date to this will be like “OMG Chris Brown is in this, I’m not seeing it F that guy” /cry /sob.
Plus it looks like it’s one of those stupid crime movies where everyone is out to get everything, there’s no loyalty, double crossing, blah blah, yawn, seen it before. I imagine most of the people who are really interested will wait for DVD…and even then will probably forget about it shortly after seeing it.

September 24th
Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps

I’m going to call it right now: this movie will FAIL even though it probably won’t be that bad. I loved the original "Wall Street". Great cast, good story, etc. But it sounds like this one is following Michael Douglas as he gets out of jail, tries to do WARN Wall Street of the impending stock market crashes of 2008. No one believes him because he just got out of jail so he decides to spend his energy repairing the relationship with his daughter, who doesn’t want a relationship with him. But her fiancé (Shia LaBeouf oh God kill me now not this douche bag) is a Wall Street trader, and Michael Douglas agrees to help him with stocks, if Shia LaBeouf helps him with his daughter. Huh? This is the sequel to "Wall Street"???? There’s apparently some evil manager of Shia LaBeouf played by the usually excellent Josh Brolin who might be behind the murder of a previous manger and blah blah, I don’t see it being very good but who knows.
Oliver Stone directing, good cast, "Wall Street" sequel, probably won’t be too bad, but I think the reason it will fail is this: back in the 80’s when the original came out everyone wanted to be a stock market trader. It was a sexy job, it was cool. Wall Street 2 should be about online trading or some crap (think Boiler Room-ish) not a sappy relationship drama. I should have more faith but Oliver Stone is going batshit crazy with some of his latest films (W., Alexander, etc) and they’ve been garbage. He had a pretty stellar run there in the 80’s (Platoon, Wall Street, The Doors, JFK, etc) but lately he’s been meh.
Oh and Shia LaBeuof is a d-bag.

December 17
Yogi Bear

Yeah…live action Yogi Bear. Dan Aykroyd is the voice of Yogi (huh?) and Justin Timberlake is the voice of Boo Boo (huh again?), with Anna Faris (ooh, I do like her) and Tom Cavanagh is Ranger Smith.
Again, I haven’t learned my lesson…all signs are pointing to this being one of the worst movies ever made (remember the “Rockie And Bullwinkle” movie?), but it’ll probably make millions.

**Eric** · 01-20-2010, 02:28 PM

Surprises of 2010

January 15
The Book of Eli

Looks good, and I’ve heard that it’s pretty solid. The budget was $80 million and it’s still going up against “Avatar”, so this may end up being a bit of a flop unless it has a solid couple weekends…

February 12
Valentine's Day

"Happy Days" creator and "Pretty Woman" director Garry Marshall with a ridiculous cast including: Julia Roberts, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Biel, Anne Hathaway, Queen Latifa, Taylor Swift, Bradley Cooper, Jamie Foxx, Patrick Dempsey, Ashton Kutcher, Topher Grace, one of the stupid Jonas brothers, George Lopez, and more.
Not many chick flicks get mentioned here, but I have a feeling this is going to be like "Love Actually", one of those multiple storyline movies where they all intersect somewhere.

February 19
Shutter Island

Leonardo Dicaprio, Ben Kingsley, Mark Ruffalo, directed by Martin Scorsese and the trailers look very good. I can’t put this on the “Biggest” films of 2010, even though it may be one of the best films of 2010. I doubt that it will make that much money, but I think it’ll be a surprise.

March 12
Green Zone

Not sure about this one. Matt Damon, Greg Kinnear directed by the director of a couple Bourne movies in a movie about looking for WMD’s before the war in Iraq started. Could be good, could be weak if it ends up being preachy.

March 5
Brooklyn’s Finest

I’m a sucker for cop movies. A couple years ago I put the Edward Norton/Colin Farrell FAIL “Pride & Glory” on the “Best of” list only to watch it get pushed back, re-edited, and then eventually quietly released.
Anyway, I can only put this on the “Surprises of 2010” list because I’m not convinced that it’ll actually do well financially, but it looks good.
It’s an indie flick with a great cast & a great director ("Training Day"’s Antoine Fuqua) and looks like a good couple of intersecting story lines. Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, Ethan Hawke, Will Patton as NY cops and Wesley Snipes as the drug dealer type. Sounds like a premise we’ve heard before; the one cop about to retire (Gere), the undercover cop who wants his life back (Cheadle), the tough, experienced, down on his luck cop who is just looking to help his family survive (Hawke) and the bad guy(s) (Snipes).

March 26
Hot Tub Time Machine

Jon Cusack, the black dude from the Office, Rob Corddry, Chevy Chase and a bunch of other people in what looks to be a pretty funny movie where 4 guys get drunk in a hot tub and go back in time to 1986.
Could bomb, but looks like funny…

March 26
How to Train Your Dragon

How To Train Your Dragon is a Dreamworks Animation (Shrek, Kung Fu Panda) flick by the guy who was involved in some big Disney movies (Aladdin, Beauty & The Beast, The Lion King, Mulan), Chris Sanders. Kyrillian probably knows him because he was the character designer for his favorite show, “Muppet Babies”.
Voices of Jay Burachel (he’s in everything now!), Gerard Butler (he’s STILL in everything), Jonah Hill (again, in everything) and McLovin!
There are 8 books in this series, so depending on how well this one does it could be quite the franchise. Buzz is low, people are worried that this might be a flop. Looks entertaining enough, but we’ll see. I doubt it will FAIL but it may not be huge…

April 2
Repo Men

Funny thing about this movie, there was an almost identical movie to it that came out in 2008 that was an epic failure: a ridiculous, 64 song “rock opera-musical” called “Repo! The Genetic Opera” that lost like $7 million dollars but has a huge cult following. Paris Hilton won a Razzie for her supporting performance in that flick.
Anyway, “Repo Men” is the directorial debut of a guy named Miguel Sapochnik starring Jude Law and (huh?) Forest Whitaker. It’s about a future where people can get organs, and when they can’t pay the “Repo Men” arrive and take the organs back. Oh how delicious.
The red-band trailer looks quite good and with a decent cast & an interesting story (Jude Law gets in an accident on one of his repossessions and gets an artificial heart implanted in him and then, of course, they send “Repo Men” take his heart and he must fight his former allies), and Liev Schreiber this could be good. Could be a surprise, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this one failed.

April 16
Machete

Robert Rodriguez is making a movie out of the fake trailer that played in “Grindhouse”. Danny Trejo (that Mexican guy who is in everything), is the star, with Jessica Alba, Cheech, Michelle Rodriguez, Robert Deniro(?), and…wow…Lindsay Lohan and Steven Seagal.
Should probably do well, but the story sounds a bit like about 50 movies we’ve seen before (and a couple that are being released this year!): a federale (Trejo) is fighting a drug lord (Seagal) and gets sent to assassinate a corrupt senator (DeNiro) who is doing something with illegal immigrants. He’s betrayed and goes on a revenge spree…I’m assuming with machetes.

April 23
The Losers

Another comic book movie, this time a bunch of SpecOps guys who are fighting for the CIA and then are betrayed and left for dead but aren’t, so now they’re a bunch of former SpecOps guys fighting against the CIA and uncovering all sorts of evil CIA stuff.
Decent cast, but it might be too obscure to be a huge hit. Rumors of a Macchio appearance? God I’d love to see the original Karate Kid make a huge comeback and become relevant again…wouldn’t that be funny?

April 30
A Nightmare on Elm Street

I wanted to put this on the FAIL list, but I honestly don’t think it will. The trailer looks solid, and Rorschach from "Watchmen" (Jackie Early Haley) as Freddie could be freaky-good. You know how I feel about horror movies, but "Nightmare on Elm Street" has a special place because I actually watched those back when I was a kid. Doubt it will be huge, but I don’t think it will fail
Then again, Michael Bay is producing, so there could be some moments of FAIL…who knows.

June 11
The A-Team

I can’t in good conscience put this into the “Biggest of 2010” because it looks like it has a chance to fail. One of the problems is that kids nowadays have no idea who The A-Team is. I mean think about it. The original show was on in 1983-1987. In that vein you’d figure kids who are about 8 years old watched it and enjoyed it. Say an 8 year old enjoyed this show, that puts him in his 30’s now, at the top end of the 18-35 spectrum. That misses a large majority of the people who would go and see this (i.e. the 18-30 year olds because they were too young to have seen or even know about the original).
I know, it’s a reinvisioning, and part of the reason I have hope for this is because the cast is decent and the trailer looks surprisingly good (except the tank parachuteing at the end…jesus). Bradley Cooper and Liam Neeson should be great, and I liked the style of Smokin’ Aces, the only other movie director Joe Carnahan has made that I’ve seen, so it could be decent but I’m just not sure. And the guy playing Murdock is Wikus Van De Merwe the guy from District 9, who is a great actor but I’m not sure he fits the role. Oh well, we’ll see I’m sure.

Get Him to the Greek

Another surprise, here is a spinoff from “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” that follows Russel Brand, who played Aldous Snow, the British sex addict rock and roll star that was nailing Kristen Bell behind Jason Segel’s back. In this spinoff, Jonah Hill is a young record executive who has been tasked with transporting Aldous Snow to a show, and shit happens. It should be mentioned that while Aldous Snow was clean in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, apparently he’s fallen off the wagon in this one, which probably contributes to the silly shit that will happen.
I’m not sure about this one, because not a lot of people like that Russel Brand. I thought he was quite funny in Sarah Marshall, but can he drive people to watch a movie with him and Jonah Hill, P. Diddy, and a bunch of cameo’s by musicians playing themselves? I’m putting it on the surprise list because Jason Segal was involved in the writing, and Judd Apatow films generally aren’t flops.

June 18
Jonah Hex

Wow…I was *this* close to putting this on the “Biggest of 2010” list, but I am not 100% convinced a comic book western is going to do it, despite the outstanding cast and story. I’m a big Josh Brolin fan, Megan Fox is excellent eye-candy, John Malkovich is excellent, the “then we shall fight in the shade” dude from 300, and Will Arnett.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it did really well, but being that it’s got some heavy competition in the middle of June, it could be a marginal success.

August 13th
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Another comic book movie, this one follows Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) as he meets the girl of his dreams, but must fight her evil seven ex-boyfriends, who want to kill him. WTF kind of premise is that?!!
Lots of people in this one, including Brandon Routh (Superman!), Chris Evans (Human Torch!), Jason Schwartzman, and a bunch of kids. The screens that they’ve showed are interesting (is that Michael Cera with a red lightning sword?!?!
)
It’s written, produced and directed by Edgar Wright, who’s other successes include: Shaun Of The Dead & Hot Fuzz. Plus it already has a significant fanbase, so it could be a pile of shit (which I doubt) and still do pretty well.

September 10
The Town

Ben Affleck is a bank robber! Oh my! Affleck throws out some turds in between his good movies…jesus, I just looked and Affleck hasn’t had a good movie in a long, long, long time. 1997, "Good Will Hunting" and "Chasing Amy"…then crap, crap, crap, crap...
Anyway, Ben Affleck is a bank robber, along with Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker), and a couple other guys, along with some FBI agents and ladies (including Blake Lively). The movie apparently follows Affleck & his team after the heist as the FBI attempts to catch them. If they go “Reservoir Dogs” it could be good. Affleck is directing, so that might actually help this film, as “Gone Baby Gone” was great (also directed by Affleck). I could see it crash and burn if it’s a standard bank robber movie.

October 1
Let Me In

You can go see this movie right now if you get “Let The Right One In”, a Swedish film that has won about 50 international film awards. The story is about a 12 year old boy who develops a friendship with a girl, who turns out to be a vampire. The trailers I saw were freaky looking, and the movie looked very intense. Of course you have to be able to read subtitles since it’s not in English, but this “Let Me In” is the English language remake.
I’ve seen bloggers just gushing over how good “Let The Right One In” was, so it’s likely that this movie will do well, especially with how popular anything vampire is right now, but something about remaking a movie that’s already outstanding makes me wonder if it won’t be a runaway success like the original was. We’ll see…

October 15
Jackass 3-D

Sigh…yet another Jackass movie. This time in…3-D! Oh I see, Jackass part 3, and 3-D is big right now, and so you’ll have Steve-O puking on you in 3-D. Oh my, that’s fun stuff.
Actually I didn’t even see (or realize that it was out) the sequel, so I’m going to have to add that to my Netflix because these guys really are quite funny. I mean it’s juvenile and disgusting, but they do some crazy funny stuff. Should do okay.

October 15
Red

Don’t know much about this one and it’s in the early stages, but apparently it’s (gasp) another comic book movie, with Bruce Willis & Morgan Freeman attached.
Will post more once trailers & info emerge.

November 12
Unstoppable

$90 million dollars, Tony Scott directing (Top Gun, Days Of Thunder, Crimson Tide, etc), starring Denzel Washington and Chris Pine (Kirk!).
I want to say this will be a ridiculous success, but then I read the synopsis: “an unmanned half mile freight train filled with stuff that blows up and poisonous gasses is out of control and going to destroy a city. A veteran engineer and a young conductor chase the train in a separate locomotive to bring it under control before it is too late.” Oh boy… Let me see a trailer. I guess it could be cool but come on, if the train is on tracks/rails, couldn’t you just re-route it so it does a big circle until you can get control of it or fix it?

**Eric** · 01-20-2010, 02:30 PM

Phew, that took more than a week! I need more free time at work!

Unlocked so now you can post comments. I'll come back to this every now and then and add posters, new movies, etc, that come out as the year goes on...

Enjoy!

**Ender** · 01-20-2010, 03:06 PM

The only comment I have to post is that I am now devoting my life to killing all of the people involved in the making of "The Karate Kid" remake. They will not be quick deaths either, but slow, agonizing, tortuous deaths... such as being disemboweled with a wooden cooking spoon.

Yes, it is not Karate, first of all, and second of all that is one of the most classic movies of our generation. Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK!!!

**Klaus** · 01-20-2010, 03:19 PM

WTF is with all these remakes? Red Dawn could be good but I agree with you on A Team - the target of that movie probably won't even have seen the TV series. I actually watched a episode on Hulu on my PS3 a few months ago and let me just say that show dosen't hold up it all! It was horrible.

**Ender** · 01-20-2010, 03:31 PM

Originally Posted by Ender

The only comment I have to post is that I am now devoting my life to killing all of the people involved in the making of "The Karate Kid" remake. They will not be quick deaths either, but slow, agonizing, tortuous deaths... such as being disemboweled with a wooden cooking spoon.

Oh, and this includes Jackie Chan.... I could take him.

**gigi** · 01-20-2010, 03:38 PM

i am so looking forward to alice in wonderland! gonna see on the imax. you can never go wrong with johnny depp and tim burton imo!
i agree with almost all of your biggest choices. i HATE sex in the city. HATE IT! i watched one episode with a friend and got so annoyed by the end of it.

out of all the remake movies that i saw i think red dawn might be the best also. shame on them for redoing Karate Kid though. that movie is just fine the way it is. i did see a trailer for the Nightmare on Elm St. though and it looks pretty good. it gonna go more in depth on how it happened. which i think will be a interesting way to look at it.

surprised you didn't put The Crazies on there boon. looks like it might be neat.

**Kyrillian** · 01-20-2010, 04:28 PM

MacGruber will be a surprise hit. Most Saturday Night Live movies fail at the box office (but are quite funny). I think MacGruber is going to buck the trend and at least be profitable. All I've read on it say they are going hard R on this which you already saw a little of in the red-band trailer.

Keep in mind, I was not a fan of the MacGruber skits on SNL.

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